wednesday thoughts

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

these two make me so envious and feel butterflies at the same time. i love all those sweet moments of them and kim woo bin (grim reaper) & sunny (kim sun). i miss this drama the most. still can't move on and yet i am still listening to some songs of this drama. not gonna move anytime soon. i did purchased more song in itunes hahaha wasting my money for this drama. but i don't regret it.

it such a sunny day and i went to the gym today. did some walking in treadmill and cycling too. i did spent an hour and it's really good - the feeling after workout (even though it is not heavy workout). but i am more than thankful because i know myself. i am super lazy when it comes to exercise (well other things as well like cooking, home chores and etc hahaha). so many bad traits. poor my future husband. 

i felt kinda lost lately and i don't know why. i might knowing the reason why i felt like that but i don't feel sure about it. i am so afraid of what future hold for me. i always told myself that just follow the flow of my life but deep in my heart i am just afraid. but not gonna confuse myself and i will keep trying to have a better life. what i want the most in my life is happiness and blessing from Allah s.w.t. and my parents. i want to better a better daughter to  my parents because i never be the one since i was born. i never pleased my parents. i always argued with my parents especially my dad. i felt so sorry and wrong for doing all those bad behaviors. i am so sorry, dad. i love you so much and i hope you know that. i love my family so much. i want them to be happy.

                               i've big concerned how to settle my education loan with ptptn. i did take a huge amount of loan from them. i felt so stressed thinking how am i gonna make money and pay all my education loan. i hope i can get like rm100000 to just pay my education loan. well in my dream haha. 

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